On Feb 21st Karrueche Tran made a decision that would put her on the front line with Chris Brown’s infamous fan girls: she took out a protective order against Brown. The choice stemmed from Brown threatening to kill Tran.
Unfortunately the reaction that followed was far from surprising: Karrueche was attacked via social media, and the severity of the situation was diminished into a (humorless) joke.
karrueche is a liar, at this point you can tell she's all for the hype
— lil algee. (@cuntceitedT) March 3, 2017
Although it is far from a surprise that our community reacted in the fashion they did, it does raise several questions:
- Why do (men and women) in our community defend abuse?
- Why do we as a community feel that we should protect our abusers or that love = abuse
- Why are some women “worth” protecting and others are slandered: Beyoncé vs Karrueche
Let's not forget Karrueche and her manager been trying to set this up for years. She's a liar, a SCAMMER a MESSY BITCH THAT LIVES FOR DRAMA pic.twitter.com/fHaNMcpZtF
— TeamBreezy101 (@AmatullahCm) February 24, 2017
Chris brown undoubtedly has a history of abusing women: physically and mentally. Yet his “supporters” (male and female) alike will defend him harder than they will their mommas. Why do we switch blame from the abuser to the survivor. It seems like Chris brown fans will victim blame before they even think to hold Brown accountable for his actions.
Karrueche taking out a protection order against Brown, has people stating that she “knew his past” or that “she must of played a role” in him going to the extreme to threaten her life.
— Bi-Racial World (@Biracialgirlee) February 21, 2017
But lets take a minute to state the facts of the situation: Brown has stepped out of their relationship, had a baby while they were together, and publicly humiliated Karrueche. Karrueche has separated herself from Brown. She has gone on with her life without him. And he still has tried to wiggle his way back into the picture. And clearly when he couldn’t, he reverted to abusive measures.
You would think that common sense would tell people that Brown was wrong, needs help and that Karrueche was justified in taking measures to protect herself. But clearly people lack common sense.
People on social media tore into Karrueche: making claims that she knew that he had abusive tendencies, that this is what she got for using him to gain fame, and that she must of done something to instigate his actions.
Are any of these excuses able to justify Brown’s actions? Let me answer this with two words: HELL NAH!
Through the nonsense that occurred once it became public knowledge that Tran took out a protective order on Brown, I stumbled across tweets that made me question ever wanting to get into another relationship. “So none of y’all’s boyfriends/exs threaten your life before?” And “if your boyfriend or ex never threatened your life before, he didn’t really like you.”
If your man doesn't threaten your life from time to time, he doesn't really love you.
— Taz💕 (@ittybittyinNYC) December 26, 2016
If he doesn't threaten to kill you if you leave him does he even really love you?😂😂
— Heather Spall (@heatherspall) November 3, 2016
did he really love you if he doesn't threaten to kill you and the new nigga if you try to move on ? 🤔
— marisól (@veedash_) March 7, 2016
This isn’t the type of love that I ever want to experience. The fact that people within our community, men and women alike, are able to normalize abuse and translate into some twisted idea of what love is to be, is a primary example as to why this is not behavior that we can tolerate. Abuse is never, was never, and will never be okay, justifiable, or excusable, idgaf who you are.
I understand why as a community, we want to protect black men. Everyday, their lives are endangered. It is a serious issue. However nobody can rightfully justify abuse. You don’t protect our brothers by harming our sisters. That enables poor decisions and will have generations repeating a vicious and dangerous cycle.
Aside from victim blaming, there is another issues of society determining which victims are “worth” protecting vs. which victims “asked for it”. For example: if it was Beyoncé who felt the need to take out a protective order against Jay-Z, the world wouldn’t have shamed, shunned, or disrespect her. Instead they would’ve empathize and supported her decision, and lord knows the Infamous beyhive would’ve been at Jay-Z neck so quick and vicious, he may want to look in a protective order of his own.
So why when Karrueche does this, it’s the complete opposite reaction? The answer while unfortunate and wrong, is simple: we put women on a pedestal and this is what determines their worth and determines if they deserve to be protected. Several different things go into determining this, and while it is tempting to dive into those, that’s a whole article by itself. But to sum it up, people will say that if a woman is non conforming to what society claims to be the “norm” then she is not as worthy to be protected. But ask yourself something: what if it was your daughter? Your mother, sisters, friends, etc. Would you feel comfortable looking them in their eyes and telling them that the abuse they experienced was their fault, or that that’s what love is?
Let me repeat this one time for the people in the back: abuse cannot be justified: No matter if an individual has a past of abuse, if an individual did use their significant other to further their career, and quite frankly if you’re allowing someone to get you out of character you have bigger issues to address.
If we as a community are going to enable abusers and defend their actions, we will continue to face this issue. It will remain a vicious cycle that only does damages our community.
No matter how you break down, every individual, deserves to feel safe, loved, and happy. If there is any individual or thing that threaten this, that person deserves to remove themselves from the situation in the best way they see fit. As a community, not only should we strive for this, we should encourage the abusers to get help so that they can grow and better themselves, instead of enabling them to continue the same behavior.