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Nick Young With The Shot

Scenario: you walk into the club looking to have a good time and the woman behind the bar is fine as fuck. You want to shoot your shot, and with a little liquid coverage, you actually do. The bartender flirts back a lil bit and you two are vibing. Then your homeboy taps you on the shoulder, shaking his head. “She got a man,” he tells you. You look over to her, she nods her head and confirms.

Believe it or not, bartenders date too! Some of us even have boyfriends.  Imagine trying to balance getting the attention of club patrons and giving your attention to your man at home.

The Blurry Lines Between Clients and Suitors

The balance between home and work shouldn’t be hard but sometimes there is complications. No guy wants to walk into an establishment where his girlfriend works and see her in the face of another man but it happens, and unfortunately that’s part of bartending. We’re here to serve you drinks, but many times we are found being a friend or someone to talk to without any judgment being passed. We become an unexpected comrade and confidant. In the minds of a bartender, it’s one person just being there for someone else, but if your guy walks in, all it looks like is an unfamiliar face chatting up bae. It’s our job to manage both those relationships, so the patron doesn’t read more into it then it needs to be while also reassuring our guy that it’s nothing to be concerned about.

Bartenders make friends with people all the time, we call them regulars. These are people who know our work schedule and have built a platonic relationship with us. Caution, do not think that this happens in all cases.  There are customers that may or may not be regulars that try to get at your girl. Sometimes they will try knowing of her circumstances and still try to pursue her. Maybe they are truly unaware so you tell them… you have some that will still try and then you some that will leave it alone. Sometimes you will get a douche bag, then you have the one that just see pretty and don’t care who the talk to and will try to get at your co-worker standing right next to you. Our job is to build a trusting relationship with our people but to never overstep any boundaries. Before I was in a relationship, I would still say that I had a boyfriend, not be rude but just to let this person know that it won’t happen. Strictly business, nothing personal.

Remembering the Most Important Regular Is Your Man

Home life is where it gets complicated. Men do not express how the feel and when they do it’s either in a way that hurts or in a way that makes you like you have done something wrong, even if you haven’t. That’s men; they have a way of making you feel like shit without even knowing it. You will rarely find a man who can communicate his feelings whether it is about you, to you, or about a certain subject.

It’s like when they feel emotions they lock them in this black box, you have to pry this box open with no tools or guidance. Anyways, to us, being a bartender is just like any other job but we just have more fun.  Our significant others do not see it that way. They don’t like the attention that it brings; guys want all of our attention even if they don’t express it. It’s not that they become insecure, (and ladies if your guy does feel insecure it’s your job to fix that) but they feel like our customers get time and attention that is only meant for them.

The irony in it all is that before you get the bartender you really want, before she becomes your girlfriend, bae or whatever, you will do anything to get her time and attention. You’ll even go out your way to come see her even though you know she will probably be busy. When she actually gives you the time of day you can’t even handle the attention she’s getting at work. You can’t handle the attention that bae is getting even though you know wholeheartedly that she only wants you.

You will never fully understand how deeply my heart feels for you. I worry that we’ll grow apart and I’ll end up losing you…” – Tupac

You can’t handle it because before bae was bae, you were one of those guys on the other side of the bar trying to holler at a bartender. What guy wants to be that guy who complains about how your girlfriend makes money? No guy. In some cases, what’s understood doesn’t need to be explained. Your girl probably doesn’t want the attention that bartending brings just as much as you, but she has to know that you have her back no matter what and you trust her.

Being Real About Dating…

I say all the time, do not date customers but that’s really unrealistic. People are intriguing and when a person is consistent, that automatically builds an attraction and shit happens. Date whoever you want but don’t let little things come between what you feel is real in a person. Don’t let selfishness get the best of what your person has to offer the world.

And to my male readers, she is DEFINITELY with you because she loves you, she wants to be there, she wants to be with you. You have to make her feel like that’s where you want her to be. As humans we struggle with pride and that’s all that is, pride. If your girl is about you and you are about her, then that’s what matters. Everything else is obsolete.

Peace. Love. Happiness.

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