I feel like I’m constantly put into this position. “Jacks, can I touch your hair?” And honestly, the fact that someone even thought to ask and not just automatically touch is appreciated. Regardless, when people want to touch my hair, I don’t know how to feel, but here are some thoughts that run through my head when someone asks me to touch my hair.
Hit Play and then read my thoughts.
- Don’t Touch My Hair by Solange immediately starts playing in my head.
- It’s 2017 and people are really still asking this?
- Does it look like I want to be petted like a puppy?
- If I say no, will they ask someone else?
- Should I take this one for the team?
- Where have their hands been?
- Are they going to throw off the carefully orchestrated, delicate oil balance I worked tirelessly on to perfect? Should I have calculated for this?
- Is it cause I’m black and they’re not use a black persons hair like this?
- Is it cause I’m black and they just feel comfortable around me?
- Do they think it’s okay?
- Is my hair really just that cool?
- If the roles were reversed, would I ask this?
- Is it hurting me by letting them touch my hair?
- Should I feel appreciative because they asked this time?
- Should I feel honored that they want to touch my hair instead of bash it?
- Is this some sort of back handed compliment?
- If I say this is okay, would I support a system commoditizes Black culture?
- If I say yes, am I part of the problem?
- What would my Grandmomma do?
- Do I want my hair touched?
- Is this a joke?
- Will people be asking me this for the rest of my life?
- Should I be offended?
- Does anyone else see why this could be offensive?
- Am I overreacting?
When someone asks you “Can I touch your hair?”, how do you feel?