I have a habit of going on never ending tangents when discussing subjects that I’m passionate about. I speak loudly and rapidly. I flail my arms around indirectly.
When I go on my lengthy rants, I’m often told to “calm down” or that it’s “not that serious.” But what they don’t understand is that it IS that serious, to me at least.
We live in a time where being “heartless” and not caring about anything is the new wave.
I’m not angry. I’m not yelling. Don’t tell me to calm down.
I’m cursing because there aren’t any other words that can express my frustrations. I’m loud because I know you’re unable to truly hear me at a lower octave. I use my hands to illustrate the words I’m spitting into the atmosphere.
Too often women are shunned for not only speaking their minds but also speaking them loudly. Unapologetically. PASSIONATELY.
I’ve been told to control myself and to be mindful of how people could possibly perceive me. The requests to monitor myself are endless. Do I not have the right to project my thoughts in a manner that I deem fit?
We live in a time where being “heartless” and not caring about anything is the new wave. For those of us who care about everything, this wave is not only inconvenient, but also stifling. I can’t say that I’ve never tried to downplay how strongly I felt about specific topics, or that I’ve never made an effort to speak in a softer tone in order to avoid offending anyone. But why should I have to do any of this?
Why should I feel ashamed because my mannerisms during such rants are considered “unladylike”? Why must my tangents equate to anger?
I’m not fighting. I’m feeling. Am I not allowed to feel?
I refuse to babysit my enthusiasm for the benefit of others.
My passion is beautiful. My passion is intense. My passion is unapologetic.